Babysitting
by Chibi T
Summary: Wolfwood has to babysit A very ooc Vash


Babysitting

Babysitting

~These~ are thoughts

**_These_******are sound effects

~What a nice birthday present for Vashy…~ Mishi thought evilly as she finished her 'modifications' on the fridge. Snickering, she rose back up to the author's domain in the sky to wait and see what will happen in the morning…

~Midnight, time for a snack~ Vash rose from his bed as quietly as possible, so he would not disturb his light sleeping roommate. Careful not to step on the floorboards that creaked as he had learned yesterday, he tried to make his way across the room to where the door resided, but, being the clumsy fool that he was, he managed to step on EVERY floorboard that creaked **_creak creak creak _**Wolfwood's eyes snapped open **_creak creak creakity crunch!! _**"oomph!" Vash slapped a hand over his mouth and peered into the dark room for those twin sparkles that alerted him that his roomie was awake. Finding none, Vash slowly opened the door and crept downstairs towards the kitchen (why he and Wolfwood were always UPstairs was beyond him.) Wolfwood closed his eyes again, it was the same every night, he could hear Vash rummaging through the fridge's contents now. But what he didn't expect was…..

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"**_CRASH!!!_**

Wolfwood shot up 10 ft out of his bed and promptly banged his head on the ceiling with a loud **_CLUNK!! _**Wolfwood stumbled down the stairs, tripping over Kuroneko…twice…before walking into the kitchen to behold…

A half naked juice stained Vash, that only came up to his knees. "What…the…hell?" Wolfwood asked, more to himself then the kid. 

"Oooooooh, you said the 'H' word" Vash taunted in his now ten-times-higher-then-normal chibi voice. Meryl then took this time to storm into the kitchen with a half-asleep Millie in tow, as in her nature, Meryl started blabbing with her eves closed before she could notice (or anyone could tell her) of Vash's little Ahem, 'Problem.' " Vash and Mr. Wolfwood, this is the second time this month we have woken up by screaming and loud crashing and banging noises." Meryl stated, all matter-of-factly, Millie had already seen what had happened and was trying to get her blind friend Meryl to notice. "Um, Meryl…-" "And furthermore." Meryl cut Millie off "MERYL!!" Millie shouted, pointing to the wet, stained, chibi Vash. "What the…Vash! What have you gotten yourself into??!" Meryl recovered quickly from her initial shock, pointing an accusing finger at Vash. "I dunno Mewuh, I wen tuh duh fwige tuh get sum snackies an diws hawpins tew meh!!" Vash cried, acting as frustrated as everyone else. "Well Wolfwood, since Millie and I are working, and well, your not," Meryl began, as calmly as if this sort of thing always happened. Wolfwood stared at her ~oh no…. anything but…~"you have babysitting duty."

Vash giggled and splashed at the water, right into Wolfwood's face. "You know Needle Nogan, you're more trouble now as a six year old then you were when you were what? 138?" But Vash wasn't listening, he was too busy rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth in the tub to make a huge wave.

" TII~DAL WAAAAAAAVE!!!!" Vash screamed as a huge bubbly arc cascaded over their heads.

" #$%&*%$#*!$*&*%&%#@^%&!!!!!!!!"

Meryl looked up from her sewing to see a very nekkie Vash come tearing down the stairs laughing manically, and a very sopping wet and angry Wolfwood hot on his heels. Nicholas grabbed a towel from the table and threw it over the blonde boy, blinding him. Vash tripped and landed hard on the floor, Wolfwood scooped him up and carried the thrashing mass of limbs up the stairs to their room before dumping the ball of skin and towel unceremoniously on the bed. Vash popped his head out "sowwy daddy" he apologized meekly. "D-Daddy?? That dosen't cut it." Wolfwood replied, as he toweled off the boy. "Stay here" he commanded as he went downstairs to fetch new clothes for Vash from Meryl.

"s-st-stop squirming nnughn!" Wolfwood grunted as he tackled the blonde boy for the fifth time in two minutes on the floor, for about three seconds before Vash managed to weasel out of his arms again. "Gosh darnett Vash, OW shit!!" Wolfwood swore as Vash bit him on his arm and went tearing down the stairs nekkie (again) before Wolfwood had a chance to put on Vash's new chibi clothes on him. This time though, it was Meryl who tripped the rambunctious youngster and dumped him on the floor before the seething priest. Wolfwood hastily tried to dress the blonde before he could cause any more trouble naked, at least now, he would be clothed, but it seemed the harder he tried, the longer it took, eventually he managed to get all the clothes on the boy about a half hour later. On the way down the stairs, Wolfwood 'accidentally' tripped Vash, causing the chibi to walk the rest of the way downstairs, on his head. Wolfwood laughed and dragged the boy outside to play with 'normal' children until he could figure out what caused this strange anomaly. He instantly looked up as he heard Vash's unique screech reach his ears. Franticly darting his eyes around Wolfwood behold Vash, running as fast as his little legs could carry him, chased by five very angry looking boys all at once. A shout from behind interrupted their little fiasco as Meryl shouted at Wolfwood. "Mr. Wolfwooood! Millie and I are out of supplies for supper. Could you take Vash and go to the store to pick up some stuff for us please?" Wolfwood looked up, it was fast approaching dusk; the stores would be closing soon. Meryl hurled a thin donut-frisbee thing at him, and turned to go back inside. With a squeal, Vash ran up to the flying paper and caught it before it could reach Wolfwood, he happily tore it open and read what he needed to get from the store. "Yoink!" Wolfwood said as he snatched the paper from Vash's hands and dragged the boy with him to the nearest store.

"Lemme see now, that makes um $$ 29.92" the store register man said quietly. Wolfwood switched the arm he was holding the groceries in and looked around for where Vash ran off to, for he was nowhere to be found, which now, Wolfwood knew, meant trouble. He was about to go looking in the isles for the illusive boy until he heard Vash's high pitch squeal. 

"TIIIIIIIIIIMBER!!"

Wolfwood turned to see Vash riding on top of an isle shelf as it toppled over, knocking the next shelf, which knocked the next, which knocked over the next in a very un-funny domino effect. The store guy's eyes got as large as saucers as he watched the detrimental effects this little blonde boy with the spikey hair had. When all was done and the dust settled, both boy and man turned to see a red-faced store guy with a very large dangerous looking shotgun. Wolfwoof wasted no time, he grabbed Vash by his little arm and ran for dear life as bullets whizzed by his ears, Wolfwood turned the corner and ran straight home with a very hysterical Vash in tow. He slammed the door behind them and dumped the groceries on the table before turning his attention to Vash, who was now crying. Wolfwood cradled the small boy in his arms and rocked back and forth on his toes until Vash stopped crying.

The rest of the night went by rather peacefully, as Wolfwood had chastised Vash for his reckless behavior earlier. They had all eaten supper without incident, washed and put away the dishes, and had played a board game when Wolfwood heard the clock chime twelve. "Well needle nogan, I think its time for bed. Err" Vash was laughing behind him.Wolfwood turned around to see a very tall Vash, who had ripped all his clothes at the seams. "Yhea, I guess so," Vash continued to chuckle softly to himself as they both went up the stairs and to the right to their room. Vash bounded in and promptly slid into his donut pajamas, then he hopped into bed with a small smile on his face. Wolfwood changes into his pajamas also, and just as he turned, he heard Vash murmur "thank you for the birthday present Wolfwood." The priest clamored into bed, before he suddenly realized ~birthday present?~

Owari


End file.
